New Therapist

So, I decided to try to stakeout H.M.O., and LC wanted to tag along (I think he thought we were going to see naked girls). The stakeout wasn't going so well, and LC was sobering up, which is never good. We decided to take a break and grab a couple of drinks. Well needless to say when you go to the bar with LC a few drinks turns into a few too many. LC was trying to impress some sorority girls by telling stories about Bongo while lifting a VW over his head. I was sitting at the bar, alone, and started making small talk with the bar tender. Well she was a really good listener, and I was a little drunk, so I started talking about Wonderbread, and A.S.S. and how being a super-hero is a lot of responsibility. So, anyway LC and I finally left the bar. I was too drunk to drive, so LC took the keys, well that was a BAD idea. Well he got lost, which gave me some time to think. I was feeling a lot better about myself, I have more confidence, and I am coming to grips with how I can't save everyone. Then it hit me I have a new therapist, the Bartender.

HMO isn't what I thought it was

So, after doing some in depth investigating, with some assistance from Mofo and The Slut (hey road-head counts as assisance, it sure made the drive to the library go by more quickly) I have discovered that my HMO is not a health care provider. HMO actually stands for Hellacious Malevolent Obstetrician! This bastard with the help of Dr. Doo-Doo and Captain Compensation (the former hero who lost half his penis while battling Nubby No-Nuts and the Mutant Mutilator) put together an evil organization which merged the Meniacal Medical Ministers, and the Insidious Insurers. There is no telling what harm this super-evil team will reek upon innocent people, unfortunately they have a legal business liscence. DAMN!!! What can we do? I can't just take LC, and SK with me and bust up their offices, cause the last thing we need is another run in with the cops (you'd think they would be less strict on enforcing public drunkeness on a guy whose super-powers require him to be blind drunk). This situation may require A.S.S. to team up with G.A.Y.S (Gay AttorneY Squad). I am a bit wary of having G.A.Y.S. around my A.S.S. though.

The Therapist

OK, I haven't posted anything new in a while. I've been really busy fighting crime, and going to therapy. After some really intense sessions with my therapist, in which we really made some progress, I suddenly realized something. What does robbing banks and mugging old ladies have to do with dealing with my issues?

Egad!!! My therapist is that doer of dastardly deeds The Therapist! This SOB was once a highly respected psychologist, until he tried some experamental techniques on himself, and he went nutty. He now goes around posing as a legitamate therapists, while making his patients reek havoc.

Unfortunately, until the Masked Mofo lets me get on the A.S.S. health plan I'm pretty well screwed. This guy is the only therapist that my HMO covers. Damn, HMO bastards! Well I NEED my therapy, but my therapist is a Super-Villain. What do I do?

Come to think of it my HMO sent me to The Diabolical Dental Hygenist instead of a real dentist, I just thought they were being cheap, but maybe there is something there? I will investigate, maybe those A.S.S. clowns will help me with this investigation, cause that was never my strong point.

Damn It!!

Ha ha, very funny guys. "Hey PI, we need you and SK to go on a 'super-secret' mission to undermine dasterdly deeds. Go to Kansas City and discover the source of hidden evil."

You bastards beg me to join you're silly team, then try to ditch my ass in the boring-ass Mid-West. That's BULLSHIT!! First you try to send me to Wyoming, then KC! What gives, sure I'm the only one who has REAL powers (that isn't a whore), so I understand the jealousy thing.

ARRRRRGGGGGG!!! I'm going to KILL you fuckers!! I'll incinerate you genitals, and laugh with glee!!!!


Ok, not really. Come on it was a joke, I get it. Can we just cut this crap out and actually fight some crime?

Seriously I was joking, I won't scorch you nuts.

*sniffle* Stop making fun of me. *tears* You know I'm going through a hard time right now! *collapses* (whisper) "Why Wonderbread?!?" *sobbing*