What a Mofo!

So, I'm getting a weird vibe from the Masked Mofo. When he responded to my ad he seemed so excited to have a "REAL" super-hero on the team. I mean seriously, what's up? I don't want to discredit this guy or anything, but dude doesn't even have powers. Sure his Grand-pappy was a big time hero back in the day and all, but just cause you come from a super-hero family don't make you a hero. True the guy has some decent detective skills, some cool gadgets (the Mofo-cycle is pretty cool), and he's the leader of a super-team, but look at the last fight this guy got in. Yeah, A.S.S. beat the giant robot, but it really was more like the Slut, SK, and Liquid Courage show. I mean DAMN how embarassing is it to win the fight, then get nut-cancer (or whatever). I just hope that SOB cuts this passive aggressive shit out, or I'm gonna have to put the heat to him. I mean if you didn't want me on your team, why'd you invite me, and WTF is this crap about a Super-Team in Wyoming? I mean are there even any super-villians there? There are less people in the state of Wyoming than in the city of Macon, GA, I guess they could be a super-team of goat herders, or snow shovelers or something.

Wecolme to the team

So, I get THE call last night. A super-team needs my special abilities. They call themselves the "Association of Semi-Superpeople" (A.S.S.). They seem to be doing very well for a low budget crime fighting organization, so I accepted the invite (besides none of the big name teams are calling).

Several of my new teammates decided to take me out for drinks to celebrate. The Masked Mofo was busy working on some new team manuvers, so he didn't go. Shit Kicker was out searching for the man behind the man behind the man behind the man, or something like that, and I don't think the Rev got invited, maybe it's cause he's religious and doesn't drink.

Pretty Boy Slim and Liquid Courage and I got into a drinking contest (guess who won that one, the guy with super alcohol powers, duh!), so most of the night is hazy. I know that I came to next to The Slut this morning, and apparently during the night I got confused about who has which power. PB Slim is the one with the anti-Venerial Disease Powers, and The Slut has Venerial Disease, so now I have to go to the clinic.

SWMSH seeking Super-Team

I am a Single White Male Super Hero, I am seeking a new Super-Team. I have Flame-Powers and five years of Super-Hero experience. I will send my resume to any serious Super-Teams, but to cover the high points. I have punished numerous bands of thugs, including "The Brotherhood of Reached Halitosis", "Acrid Acrobatic Amputees", and "Mothers Against Drunk Driving". I have also squared of with super-villains such as "Dr. Doo-Doo", "The Fecal Felon", "Nubby No-Nuts", and the Asian terror "Woo Flung Pu." My last Super-Battle ended with the death of my former partner Zach Wonderbread, after which I decided I needed to take a short hiatus from Super-Heroing to hone my Super-Skills. I am returning from my self imposed hiatus, of which I spent most of my time at Morningwood Home for the Psychologically Scarred, I was helping others get over there problems, while working out my own.

Phlogiston

phlo gis ton: (flo jiss ton) n.
a hypothetical (mythical) substance formerly thought to be a volatile constituent of all combustible substances, released as flame during combustion.


in fer no: (in fur no) n.
1. A place or condition suggestive of hell, especially with respect to human suffering or death

2. A place of fiery heat or destruction.